Challenges Facing Former Assembly Members

Family, friends and counselors who wish to help former and current Assembly members must become knowledgeable about the challenges these people are facing. (Click Glossary link at left for definitions of Assembly terminology.)

People who left the Assemblies of George Geftakys after 2002 found themselves in a unique situation. They did not leave the group of their own volition because they saw problems. They were caught unaware by G. Geftakys' excommunication and the subsequent disbanding of most of the Assemblies in 2003. Betrayal suddenly pulled the rug out from under them.

The fallout of this train wreck is across the board, from denial that anything was wrong with the group, to denial of the Christian faith, and everything in between. The stories in Personal Accounts express many different reactions.

For those who have come out of denial, it has been a nightmare to wake up and realize that something they unreservedly gave their lives to has turned out to be deeply flawed. Sorting through all the facets of the experience, throwing out the bad and trying to find the good, is difficult and takes a long time.

A lot of wisdom and care are required by family and friends of those who are still attending continuing Assemblies, and those who have left the group but do not really see the problems.

The articles, If You Have a Loved One in a Deceptive, Exploitive Group, by Exit and Support Network, and Recovery From Spiritual Abuse, by therapist Sharon Hilderbrant, M. A., are recommended reading. Steve Hassan's book, Combatting Cult Mind Control, has many good suggestions for concerned family and friends.

Listen a Lot and Become Informed

The most important things a friend or loved one can do are listen a lot, and become informed about the Assembly and the dynamics of a totalistic high-demand group.

People who have left the Assembly experience depression, grief, anger, guilt, shame and loss of spiritual connection. Most of them are facing life issues such as financial deficits, career deficits, social awkwardness, cultural alienation, and lack of trust in relationships.

They are also dealing with spiritual betrayal. One common result is an aversion to elements of their faith they once held very dear, such as the Bible and church. Bible studies may not be helpful for awhile.

Not everyone from the Assembly relates to all the issues listed above. There are differences, depending on which Assembly people were involved in, what leaders they were under, their level of involvement, whether they lived communally, whether they were in "the Work," etc. A few have made a relatively smooth transition, some feel fairly stable after a year or two, but many have ongoing struggles for years. Ask questions and be sensitive to how the information presented on this website may be applicable.

The Wounded Pilgrims section of this website addresses many of the issues listed above. The articles "Life in the Assembly" and "Errors in Assembly Doctrine and Practice "describe the Assembly. The Subtle Power of Spiritual Abuse, by Jeff Vanvonderen, is probably the best book for an overall picture of the dynamics and fallout of a group like the Assembly. There is a synopsis on the web that gives a quick overview of this excellent book. Dr. Ronald Enroth, a sociologist at Wesmont College, has written a book called Churches That Abuse, in which he used the Assembly as one of his examples.

Learn About Mind Control

The Assembly was a totalistic, authoritarian, high-demand group. ("Totalistic" means the rules of the system encompass one's whole life almost 24 hours a day." "High demand" means there was continuous pressure to perform to very high standards.)

As such, the members of the Assembly were subject to mind control. People who have not personally experienced this often have some misunderstandings about the concept. The brief article, Cognitive Distortion, lists ten habits of thinking that are deeply ingrained through the thought-reform process.

This is one common assumption: "Mind control is something sinister that happens only in Communist countries and wacko cults; it doesn't happen in evangelical churches." That is not the case. Even a Bible-believing church can become totalistic and authoritarian if the pastor is controlling.

It is important to understand that not everyone who has left the Assembly realizes they were under mind control. People still in the Assembly definitely do not see it. Again, sensitivity to the perceptions of the friend or loved one is necessary.

We strongly recommend that people who have left the Assembly get counseling and find a support group. Going to Wellspring Retreat for two weeks is the ideal option. What is needed is a therapist with awareness of the cult/high demand group issues and understanding of the spiritual damage, as well as standard clinical training regarding relationships and family of origin.

Articles about mind control include "Definition of an Abusive Group", adapted from Dr. Janja Lalich; Five Warning Signs of an Unhealthy Church, by Mike Fehlauer; How Cults Work; and "Robert Lifton's Criteria for Thought Reform Applied to the Assemblies," by Brian Steele, a former Assembly member.

Spiritual Issues

Spiritual issues are perhaps the most difficult to understand for friends and family. They are also extremely difficult for former members of abusive churches to sort out. Spiritual healing will most likely take a very long time, because the betrayal by George Geftakys was very deep. Don't be surprised if former Assembly members don't read the Bible or attend church. It is more important to rebuild a correct view of God through books, media, and relationships with individual Christians.

Jeff Vanvonderen has many good articles on the dynamics and recovery from spiritual abuse: When Religion Goes Bad--Part I, Part II, Part III, "When You Are Ready To Try Again: Going Back To Church." A blog post on phobias is also pertinent.

If you are a former Assembly member, remember, the bottom line, spiritually, is...

     You can't lose your salvation (although you can intentionally throw it away or unthinkingly drift away.)
     God still loves you
     You still have the Holy Spirit. He hasn't left you. He is always there with you. Don't be apologetic or reluctant to speak about Gospel truth just because you feel you aren't doing at all well spiritually.
     Don't forget that the biggest battle is over your faith--the Adversary is actively trying to destroy it so he can gloat. Reaffirming your faith in God is huge.
     It's okay, in fact it's a sign of recovery, when you can begin to desensitize yourself to triggers by exposing yourself to them in tiny little bits. (Like leaving a Bible open--try using The Message-- and reading a verse sometimes.) Doing this is huge.
     Give yourself credit that you wrestle with these issues and make efforts once in awhile to connect with Christianity. If you weren't a child of God you wouldn't be bothered that God seems so distant and you feel so spiritually dead.
     Be patient and stay hopeful. It takes a long time to heal the spiritual wound, but it will happen because God's intention is that you have the joy of your salvation.

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