Narcissistic Personality Disorder is characterized by "a pervasive pattern of grandiosity (in fantasy or behavior), need for admiration, and lack of empathy, beginning in early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by five (or more) of the following:(1) has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
(2) is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
(3) believes that he or she is "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
(4) requires excessive admiration
(5) has a sense of entitlement, i.e., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
(6) is interpersonally exploitative, i.e., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
(7) lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings or needs of others
(8) is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
(9) shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes.
Jon Krakauer in his book Under the Banner of Heaven makes these further comments:
Krakauer quotes Anthony Storr from Feet of Clay:Although an exaggerated desire to mete out justice is not listed among the defining characteristics of narcissistic personality disorder in DSM-IV, it probably should be. Narcissists erupt with self-righteous indignation whenever they believe others are breaking rules, acting unfairly, or getting more than their fair share of the pie. They have no compunction about breaking the rules themselves, however, because they know they're special and the rules don't apply to them....When narcissists are confronted by people who disparage the legitimacy of their extravagant claims, they tend to react badly. They may plunge into depression -- or become infuriated...Their reaction to criticism is intense.
Grandiosity and lack of empathy are the hallmarks of "NPD". It is intriguing to consider that perhaps the chief assembly doctrine was death to self, because that is what was required of us to live in the orbit of a narcissistic personality that did not leave room for our unique personalities, needs, interests or talents, unless they were useful. So we worked assiduously to deny our true selves, and felt guilty and ashamed of ourselves. Might this distortion also have sprung from narcissism?Gurus are isolated people, dependent upon their disciples, with no possibility of being disciplined by a Church or criticized by contemporaries. They are above the law. The guru usurps the place of God. Whether gurus have suffered from manic-depressive illness, schizophrenia, or any other form of recognized, diagnosable mental illness is interesting but ultimately unimportant. What distinguishes gurus from more orthodox teachers is not their manic-depressive mood swings, not their thought disorders, not their delusional beliefs, not their hallucinatory visions, not their mystical states of ecstasy: it is their narcissism.
In the Assembly Christian doctrine was skewed to denigrate initial salvation and forgiveness of sins in order to emphasize instead the deeds of royal overcomers, because these enhanced self-importance. It was very important to George that his own "passport" had been granted, assuring him that he had attained overcomer status. By conforming to high performance standards, we as a group became one of George's superior achievements.
It is a sobering thought that many people were also deliberately trained and discipled to model themselves after Assembly leaders who lorded it over others. We can still see residual traces of narcissism in ourselves at times -- intense reaction to criticism, need to be important, exploitation of other people, lack of empathy, even arrogance.
The most tragic implication, however, is that because a spiritual leader communicates to the people who God is and what He is like, subconsciously God may feel demanding and exploitative, lacking in empathy, and willing to associate only with certain special high-status individuals. If the leader has no time or interest in just spending time with us, enjoying us as people, listening, loving, rejoicing with our joys and weeping with our sorrows, it may feel that God doesn't either.
The wonderful truth, though, is that even though God is high and holy, yet He does continually take thought for the lowly. Even though He deserves all admiration, yet He humbled Himself to become one of us, and promises to never leave us nor forsake us. He wants us to pour out our hearts before Him, because He wants communion with us. He delights in our unique individuality, because He created our inmost being. We are each so valuable to Him that even the very hairs of our head are numbered!
This cartoon sums up the contrast.
Next: Malignant Narcissism: Quotations from
People of the Lie
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